Imahinasyon

Ulilang lubos na si Jhay. Limang taon ng patay ang kanyang ina, ama at kapatid matapos maaksidente sa kanilang kotse noong uuwi sila sa kanilang probinsya. Siya lamang ang nakaligtas dito. Ngayo’y 25 na taong gulang na siya, nagtratrabaho sa isang kompanya dahil nakapagtapos siya bilang isang IT o Information Technology. Subalit siya ay may matinding pinagdadaanan sakanyang buhay. Siya ay kayumanggi, hindi katangkadan, hindi makinis ang mukha, simpleng manamit, tahimik, seryoso sa buhay at kitang kita ang lungkot sa kanyang mga mata. Nakatira siya sa lumang bahay na naiwan sakanya ng kanyang mga magulang at ipinamana pa ng lolo ng kanyang lolo. Kitang kita ang kalumaan ng kanyang bahay sapagkat ito’y gawa pa sa kahoy. Malawak ang kanilang tahanan na may dalawang kwarto sa ibaba at may apat na kwarto sa itaas. Ang ibang bintana nito ay sira na at ang bubong ay butas-butas. Hinahayaan nalang ito ni Jhay at hindi binibigyang pansin dahil siya nalang din naman ang mag isang naninirahan dito. Pinagtyatyagaan niya nalang ito at hindi pinapaayos. Kinalimutan siya ng parang bula ng mga tita at tito niyang nakakaalala lamang kapag may kailangan noon sakanilang pamilya. Hanggang ngayon ay hindi pa rin niya nahahanap ang kanyang forever kaya wala pa siyang iuuwing pamilya sa bahay na ito. At halos lahat ng kaibigan at kapit-bahay niya ay takot pumasok dito. Kahit na matagal nang wala ang kanyang pamilya lagi pa rin niyang nararamdaman na nasa paligid niya lang ang mga ito. Naririnig niya tuwing 3:00 ng madaling araw ang pagtunog ng mga pinggan na laging inaayos ng kanyang ina sa tuwing pagkatapos nilang maghapunan noon. Ang pagbukas ng radyo na tila tuwang tuwang nakikinig ang kanyang ama sa mga joke dito. Ang pag ugtol ng bola sakanilang sahig habang naglalaro ang kanyang limang taon na bunsong kapatid at ang pagyakap sakaniya ng paborito niyang kapatid habang natutulog at naglalambing. Sanay na sanay na si Jhay sa mga eksenang ganito at minsan sumisigaw na lamang siya ng “Ina, dahan dahan lang po sa paghuhugas” “Ama, hinaan niyo naman ang radyo at ang tawa ninyo dahil natutulog ang paborito kong kapatid” “Oh ikaw bunso, magpahinga ka na, halos maghapon ka ng naglalaro dyan ng bola mo ah” at sabay pipikit ulit at matutulog.

Isang gabi, 9:00pm na ito nakauwi sakanyang tahanan dahil pinag overtime sila ng kanilang boss at natagalan pa sa pagbyahe pauwi dahil sa walang humpay na lakas ng ulan. Pagkarating niya sa kanyang bahay ay agad siyang kumuha ng planggana na pinangsagod niya ito sa mga tumutulong tubig sa bubong. Pilit din niyang inaayos ang bintana na bukas sara sa sobrang lakas ng hangin. Ang kurtina nila ay nililipad na din na tila may babaeng nakatayo sa may bintana. Naririnig na din niya ang kanyang pamilya na natatarantang ginagawa pa rin ang madalas niyang naririnig tuwing 3:00 ng madaling araw. Napalakas din ng kulog at kidlat ng biglang nanghina si Jhay. Pumunta siya sakanilang paliguan habang nakayuko at nakita niyang may pumapatak na dugo mula sa kanyang mukha. Takot na takot itong humaranap sa salamin at nakita ang sarili na duguan ang buong mukha. Takang taka siya kung bakit ito dumudugo, nagmadaling naghilamos si Jhay at natuklasan niya na pumutok lang pala ang pinakamalaking tigyawat sa kanyang noo. Tumawa si Jhay ng napakalakas habang lumakad papasok ng kanyang kwarto sabay sabing ”Hahahahahaha, ang tagal tagal ko ng malungkot at ngayon ko nalang nakita ang sarili ko ganito kasaya. Siguro kailangan ko nang kalimutan ang nakaraan. Masyado akong nagpapaapekto sa mga taong wala na sa buhay ko. Alam kong mahal nila ako pero masyado ko nang pinapahirapan ang sarili ko dahil sa mga imahinasyon ko” at Tumila na rin ang ulan at natulog ng mahimbing si Jay, simula ng gabing iyon hindi na siya nag isip ng kung ano anong bagay.

Malaki ang pinagbago ni Jhay makalipas ang gabing iyon, mas naging masipag siya sakanyang trabaho at palangiti sa kapwa tao. Umiba na rin ang kanyang pananamit at mas naging pormal sa sarili, unti unti na ding nawawala ang mga tigyawat sa kanyang mukha. Makalipas ang isang buwan, nahanap na rin niya kokompleto sa buhay niya. Lumipat na rin sila ng tirahan, bago ito umalis at kalimutan lahat ng mapapait na alala sa lumang tirahan ay sinambit niyang “Paalam na, masaya ako dahil alam ko sa sarili ko na ayos na ako at masaya sa kung anong natira sa buhay ko”. At simula noon, masayang nagkapamilya si Jhay kasama ang kanyang asawang si Lily.

Retso

Isang panibagong araw na naman. Kagaya ng nakagawain ni Jay, gigising siya ng 5:00 ng umaga at maghahanda upang pumasok sa trabaho. Kakaiba ang araw na ito para sakanya. Nagmadali siyang maligo at ihanda ang kayang makakain. Masayang masaya siyang lumabas sakanyang tirahan at sumakay ng kotse. Pagkarating niya sa pinapasukan niyang kompanya isang masiglang bati ng “Umagang kayganda” ang kanyang sinasambit sa lahat ng kanyang nakakasalubong na tao. Masiglang ginagawa ni Jay ang lahat ng nakaatas na gawain sakanya. Lahat ng kaibigan niya ay nagtataka sa ikinikilos niya. Ngayon nalang ulit nila ito nakita ng ganito kasaya.

Mark: “Pare, bakit parang may iba sayo ngayon?”

Jay: “Pare! Ito na! Alam ko ito na ang tamang panahon”

Mark: “Pare, sigurado ka na ba dyan?”

Jay: “Oo pare, siguradong sigurado”

            Alam ng buong barkada na lahat ng nakakasama ni Jay na kumain sa isang magarang resto ay nawawala nalang sa buhay niya ng parang bula.

Jay: “Pare sigurado na talaga ito, bumalik na siya”

Mark: “Sige pare, suportado ka naming dyan” sabay tinapik ang balikat.

            Kagaya ng dati, magkikita sila ni Lea sa nakagawiang resto na kanilang kinakainan.

            Pagkatapos ng trabaho agad na inasikaso ni Jay ang kanyang sarili. Umuwi sa kanyang bahay, naligo, hinanap ang kanyang bagong biling damit na nasa aparador, isinuot ito, humarap sa salamin, ngumiti, nagpapogi at sinabi sa sarili: “Jay ito na talaga. Matagal mong hinintay ang pagkakataong ito, ayusin mo.” Nang bigla siyang nataranta “Naku, 6:00pm na pala, baka mahuli ako nito traffic pa naman sa daan.” Agad na may kinuha nito ang maliit na kahon sa lamesa at sumakay sa kanyang sasakyan. Saktong 7:00pm nakarating na siya sa napagkasunduang lugar. Makalipas ang 30 minuto tila hindi pa rin dumadating ang taong kanyang hinihintay. Tila nanghihina na siya at nawawalan ng pag-asa. Akmang tatayo at patalikod na siya ng may biglang tumawag sakanya. “Jay, saan ka pupunta?” Humarap siya dito at sa paglingon niyang iyon lungkot at sakit ang kanyang nadama. Tila gumuho ang mundo niya at nawala ng isang iglap ang lahat ng plano niya. Pinilit niyang ngumiti sa harap ng taong pinakamamahal niya na kahit iniwan siya nito noon ay hindi pa rin nagbabago ang nararamdaman niya para dito. Lumapit si Lea sakanya ng may malaking ngiti at sinabing “Kumusta na Jay? Wala ka pa ring pinagbago ah.” Siya nga pala, pasensya na kung napatagal ang pagdating ko at pasensya ulit dahil aalis na din agad ako, madami pa kaming aasikasukin eh. Kasama ko nga pala yung mapapangasawa ko, nandoon siya sa labas hinihintay ako. Gusto ko lang talaga ibigay saiyo itong imbitasyon sa kasal ko. Sana makarating ka, saka gusto ko rin paglabas ng anak ko (sabay hawak sa tyan) isa ka sa magiging ninong niya. Yun lang Jay, Salamat sa lahat. Aalis na rin ako, kita nalang tayo sa Sabado, huwag mong kalimutan ha?” Sabay yakap ni Lea kay Jay at umalis. Samantala, si Jay ay naiwang nakaupo at tulala. Sa huling pagkakataon iniwan na naman siya ng babaeng kanyang dinala sa resto na ito. Nanglumo si Jay at nabitawan ang singsing na hawak niya. Umuwi siya sa bahay at dinaan nalang sa tulog ang lahat at inisip na isang masamang panaginip nalang ang nangyari sakanya ng araw na iyon.

Try your Best

In the stage of teenager, almost all the great happenings will be experienced in this chapter. Experience is a good example that will help us to become a better individual. Through this experience even it's bad or good there's always a reason why God gave it to us. Sometimes, because of depression and imagination we think for the possibility and outcome of what we might experience even it is not yet done or happened.

We're very thankful in all the blessings that God gives us. Even in small things, we pray and appreciate all the love he showed to us. Also in all the problems he gives, there's always a God's plan for us to become better individual that's why we need to thank him every day. Even just an ordinary day and there's nothing bad that happened to us, we need to be thankful, even we're not too much happy let's thank him because we're still blessed as always.

We are over reactive in simple things that happened to us. In the times of facing our fear, we always commit not to face it, not to walk straight with it, to snob it and think of other things to forget it. Always remember that trying is better than thinking that you can’t. Not all of our instincts are right. It is good to face something new to your life. Don’t be such fool who will just sit in the corner of your house and wait for the blessings to come.

Lets all make a move. Drop every fear and enjoy everything that comes to us.

Be True Be Real

How many % you used your trust in a person? For me, trusting was never easy. I encounter different kinds of people every year and these become my challenges in the most difficult thing i always do in my life.

Trust. You know what, this generation have full of plastic people. It is not easy to join and mingle to others. Whatever you do, they will always judge you.

There are people who love having more friends in their life. Attend and meet at different events together and make more and more friends there. But they always end up not happy because some are just using them and backstabber.

There are people who make friends at texts and chats. Most of this give trust to the person they talk even they haven’t seen them in personal. That's how easy they give their trust. They share more dramas and happy moments in their life even they doesn’t know each other so much.

There are people who have friends that they know they could tell and share everything they want but they are not fun of telling others their secrets. Even he/she shows their trust, not all the things she/he wants to say could be told.

There are also people who have many friends and that “many friends” are been told of what she want to express. She trusts all her friends or other people easily.

And there are people who have enough friends but their secrets were only told to few of her/his friends. Some person shared their secret depends on how they trust others, which he/she knows that that person will understand him/her and will be surely trusted 100% in what she/he was saying.

There are different kinds of people. Different personalities, different ways on how they face others.

But for me, I just want to share to others and remind them that trusting was never easy. True friends are hard to find. Not all the person you encounter will create goods things at your side, some are just those who will destroy your beautiful life you are living.

Hey, it is not hard to be true, to be ourselves! As long as you know that all the things you do is true in your heart. Even we're too bad, all the persons we encounter will accept us if they know and feel that we're true to them and to ourselves.

Twins

Do you ever wish to have a twin sister or brother? Isn’t it nice?

I love wondering. Sometimes, I find myself thinking and imagining having a twin sister. Whose I can see my same physical appearance and observing her if we’re too the same.  I always thought, if I have a twin, what are the differences we have? What things that we will like both?

Comparing two persons with the same appearance was never easy. It’s nice to have someone who have same taste like yours, someone that will understands you most of the time and someone that will always at your side.

It’s so nice to have the most loyal bestfriend, most loving sister, best companion since birth. Someone that knows everything about you, telling all your secrets as if you’re writing on your diary but you’re telling it live with her. Someone who admires you in all the things you do and loves you even you have so many weakness in life. She gives you strength to fight in all challenges you take and well informed about your ups and downs. Someone whom you can tell everything your negative sides having full of confidence yet she will never judged and she will always loves you all the time.

But, even though I don’t have someone like her, however I got someone better with all I wish for. Suddenly, someone came in to my life and gives so much impact as I live in this world. I experienced all the things I dreamed of and become happier as he takes a step to me. I got my twin brother.

Most people say that having someone in your life whose look-like you slightly are your soulmate. I’m much pleasured to know him and proud to say that I found one. He’s the most handsome and coolest guy I met because of our similarities. Do you even think that our birthdates added to the fact of the possibility that we’re twins? Haha, my birthdate was 4days after his birthday. Isn’t it cool? We have so many things that we agree with each other.

I used to call him “kambal”. He’s someone who feels me the great feeling of being loved, being a great bestfriend and always there for you when you need him. Even he has many things that need to be done but he always feels to me that I’m more important to everything. He does his best just to make me happy as the happiest girl in this world.

Even the time that I give up, he never get tired of holding me and try to stand me in all problems we have. His way of living as he walks in his life was with God wherever he goes. He lives his life with God and that’s such a cute thing tough. That’s the most perfect thing that I loved to him. So I’m very thankful to feel all this because of him.

For me, he’s perfect. Nobody would be better to him. He’s someone that everybody needs and everybody could love him. He’s the best twin brother. All our similarities will be kept in a jar of heart even we will be separated by time, a little time to make our better future. I know, after all this things, we will meet again and live our life as the cutest twins in this world. You will always be my angel and my brother, not in blood but in heart. Thanks for everything.